All I want For Lunch Is a Tuna-Mayo Sandwich!

Senga Bay turned out to be an absolute gem of a destination. But a great checkpoint party, good people, and sore feet (Fish had now not only burnt but dislocated his toe in our epic win over the Malawian Soccer Booze Boys) meant that we were looking at 1600km and two days to get to our next place of interest, Vilanculos…

We rolled on earli in the morning with no hangovers, none...and headed to Tete just inside Mozambique borders with 600 000 Zambian Kwacha, or Kwagga – no good! And no place to exchange this type of monopoly money that was worth R1200 (I say “was” because this Kwagga changes value on an hourly basis). Eventually we conned a taxi driver with two 2M’s (great beer) at 9am to take us to his illegal leader who exchanged our useless money at a handy exchange rate (pretty much got half our value back)...lesson learnt? Probably not. It did give us a chance to buy some hard boiled eggs and savagely smash them in our faces.

A long days drive and the Thunder Horse managed to bring us to a camp just outside Chimoio, where we squatted on the “Pirates of Kariba Dam’s” chalet porch – only 700km to Vilanculos.

Refreshed with the sleep of no pillow and cement floor we got an early start. “Check the boot for snacks” asked Nick. The answer was simple at this point of the rally, only two tins of tuna remained. So a quick stop for bread (at least two loaves) and a jar of mayonnaise meant we would have a fantastic breakfast meal of champions. Then the unthinkable…CRASH!...a bleak look behind us on the road lay a jar of mayo and a quizzical streetkid. Fish clearly hadn’t followed safety rules of strapping items to the roof rack. And for this his punishment was a tick in the STALLAGE game (update on this is that Nick is on 0 stalls, Jared is on 0 stalls, and Fish is on 5 stalls – Classic!)The dry tuna sandwiches were delicious…

Craving sauces we made excellent time through the stunning interior of Mozam and reached Vilanculos around 2pm. What a what a place! Baobab Beach gives you everything you need; Tipo Tinto Rum, great seafood, and extraordinary beaches. But it was after our prawn and calamari feast that the true Vilanculos Villainy arose!

The most epic game of Kings unwound itself with our now good mates the “Ranting Antelopes”. To spice things up nick would randomly set his R10 casio swimming watch alarm, and when we heard the BEEP, chaos followed. Specific tasks such as the last to return with a sea shell, or the last to finish their drink, or the last to jump over all the guests’ tables, would receive a beverage to finish. Many judged us, many blamed it on the Tipo Tinto, all we know is it’s the game of WHAT THE BEEP!

Sleep when you dead! Wake-up! We are on our way to Magarook Island to eat more seafood, check out the reefs and just chill out! A great way to spend a morning in Mozam! Our Dhow skipper (who must have bought his license at a convenient store) then decided to beach us on every sand bank back to the mainland. To cut it short we got back to Vilanculos around 3pm, and it was now another race to get to checkpoint 6 in Inhambane before sundown. “Team Silly Buggers coming in last?” its always a given. But not without another entrance.

We arrived at Barra in Inhambane around 9pm, for our next party (dere be Pirates and Prostitutes a plenty!) only to find that the entrance to the lodge was covered in high seas (apparently you can only drive in at low tide). “Doesn’t matter – the Thunder Horse will go anywhere!” After countless people being towed earlier in the day, the Thunder Horse jumped into the ocean and across to the otherside, through two-feet thick sand and literally into the lodges’ Bar to a fantastic welcoming – EPIC! What a beast! (super photo by Jo Jansen D4 Productions and another shout to Greenstone Autobody - the body and paint work still looks immaculate!)

The Pirates didn’t disappoint and checkpoint 6 was a memorable (…if I can remember) party in wicked sweet location with plenty mad antics. The home stretch is now upon us and its all down hill to Swazi. Bring on more Mozam!

(Brilliant Vilanculo Boat pic by Stu Cooper)